Jil, Dana, and Lynn sat in the run-down bar at the run-down Motel 6 in Bullhead City, Arizona. They'd been up all night gambling and carousing in Laughlin, Nevada, and now had to prepare to "take their show on the road". Jil's frustrations were mounting because the "National Parade of Honor" she had organized so meticulously was coming apart at the seams. Because of its phenomenal success, everybody wanted the parade to stop in their town. The original plan called for visiting 111 towns and cities in 40 days between Memorial Day (Monday, May 26, 2008) and Independence Day (Friday, July 4, 2008).
That in itself was a grueling schedule of almost three cities per day. But calls were coming in from American Legion and VFW posts all over the country. The parade had sparked a national renewal in patriotism and thanksgiving to our veterans.
Lynn, ever the tactful diplomat, barked, "What the hell do they expect us to do? Clone ourselves?"
"Eureka!" Jil exclaimed (had she ever uttered the word 'Eureka' before in her life?). With typical business aplomb, the beautiful blue-eyed blond had an instant idea: "why not split us up?" As Lynn and Dana held their heads and tried to pretend they were actually conscious, Jil outlined her plan on a bar napkin. "We've got a whole fleet of motorhomes, a contingency of people, and hangers-on that all want to be part of this parade," she explained. "Let's break 'em up into smaller groups and send them all over the country. I'll be we could cover six or eight cities a day - or more!"
In an effort to subdue Jil's contagious enthusiasm, Dana pointed out that two of the motorhomes were still sitting on Casino Drive in Laughlin. "One's got some sort of a tire problem," said Dana, "and the other's sitting in front of the Golden Nugget with a transmission leak." Nothing deterred Jil as she unfolded the napkin and kept scribbling. "We could send Bob and Cher east," she proposed, "while Patrick and Cher head up north. Ron could take a group to the deep south. Phil and Janie could cover the Midwest. The three of us could run up and down the west coast and still end up in L.A. on July 4th as we originally planned!" Jil was excited; Dana and Lynn were groggy. Cell phone calls to the rest of the AROB Group quickly brought grumblings and moans. Bob Ryan summed it up best when he said, "What the hell's up with you? The rest of us are practically passed out cold; how can you be so bubbly at 5:45 in the morning?" The parade had rumbled through Bullhead City Friday afternoon, and the sun was just beginning to rise over the mountain range that cramped Bullhead City and Laughlin like a size 38 belt around a size 42 waist. The parade wasn't scheduled to be in Jacob Lake, Arizona until 3:00 p.m. Saturday. Like most of the others, Bob was looking forward to a relaxing repose before getting back on the road. Instead, Jil was calling for a "meeting" at 7:00 a.m.! "How the hell did you end up in a Motel 6 anyway?" asked Bob. Jil was reluctant to provide details, but mumbled something about how she, Lynn and Dana met an Elvis impersonator who also did Chippendale improvisations at the Frontier casino; he'd promised them a 'private' performance if they'd drive him back to his room.
The soppy gang of revelers stumbled into a hastily-rented conference room at Harrah's in Laughlin. Jil outlined her plans; most of the parade leaders quickly agreed in hopes of getting back to their rooms for a few hours' sleep before leaving for Jacob Lake. "It's amazing what you'll agree to in an alcoholic haze," said Ron. A team of coordinators was assembled to begin making phone calls and arranging for the "National Parade of Honor" to spread its wings across America.
It was a tribute to our veterans, and Jil believed this was important. Who could argue with her? Those who tried only found themselves on the receiving end of those sapphire blue eyes turning into stone cold pale blue icebergs of determination.
By noon, the new multiple tours were pretty much arranged. As Phil and Janie Baker guided their motorhome onto the bridge crossing the Colorado River, Phil grunted and said, "Well, here we go again!" He discharged a fart that filled the motorhome with noxious fumes, much to the displeasure of the other passengers. Tentatively, it looked like the 'National Parade of Honor' would now visit closer to two hundred towns before July 4th.