It had been an elaborate gala, and Jil, Dana, and Lynn were appropriately honored. They had invested a lot of time and effort into the "National Parade of Honor", and the nation had come together in a way unknown in contemporary times where patriotism and love of country were considered incidental. The all-night party at the Shiggity-Shack had been the second (or third or fourth) night of partying in a row for the AROB team and those other hangers-on. Most of the troops slept until at least noon, or later. Before Hammy's vulgar, unceremonious display of lighted methane on the beach, most had agreed that they would get together at the Shiggity-Shack at 3:00 p.m. to regroup.
Bob and Cher Ryan showed up at precisely three o'clock. The bar - and the beach - was empty. Within minutes, Ron Oetting, Patrick Hamilton, Cher Thomas, Lynn Patrick, and the Bakers (Phil and Janie) arrived. It was almost four-thirty before Jil, Dana, Lynn and their girlfriends finally managed to get to the beach (lightweights).
Phil and Janie Baker had arranged for a special surprise. After everyone was assembled at the Shiggity-Shack, Phil stood up, raised his glass, and made an announcement. "Ladies and gentlemen," he pontificated, "we're here because of the phenomenal efforts of three outstanding ladies. Jil, Lynn and Dana did an outstanding job of bringing our nation together between Memorial Day and Independence Day. Over the past few decades, our nation has been stripped of its dignity, its heritage and its integrity. Now, if you ask me, stripping is an artform that should be left to professionals, not scumbag politicians and government bureaucrats. So, without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to introduce you to one of America's premier exotic dancers...a legend in her own time....please, let's give it up for 'Catty Patti'! From behind the Shiggity-Shack's cardboard-thin paper walls that closed in its tiny kitchen, emerged a statuesque woman outfitted in full "Lady Liberty" regalia. Amidst background music of "God Bless America", "I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy" and "The Star Spangled Banner", Patti's ample proportions created such a sensual sensation, even the grains on the sand stood up to salute!
Among the hoots and hollers of the male members (no pun intended), the females in the crowd loudly protested about gender discrimination. "We want studs," they yelled in unison, "we want studs!" Anticipating such a reaction, Baker had already made appropriate accommodations. From behind the corrugated walls pounced an army of Chippendale dancers, sparsely clad in paper-thin black hot pants and black leather thongs. As they joined the gyrations of 'Catty Patti', the AROB crowd went wild! Jil, Dana, and Lynn were invited to join the Chippendales on stage, and - as could be expected - this 'regrouping' turned into a full-blown dance of debauchery. The party continued way past midnight. And, as could easily be expected, no one returned to their rooms in any degree of sobriety.