The entire northern half of the United States found itself under snow alerts by early Monday morning. Heavy snows were predicted in many regions of the northwest, midwest, and northeast as an unexpected cold front moved in from Canada and collided with a warm front heading up from the south. For most 'normal' people, that might have slowed things down a bit; for the O.U.T.R.A.G.E. volunteers, it just made it that much more of a challenge. Lime green O.U.T.R.A.G.E. buses and jetliners were spotted all over the country as Jil directed operations from her Indianapolis headquarters. The HOE HO HO force was on the move, and nothing could stop them now! America had been through hundreds of thousands of mass bombings just last January, followed by a series of horrendous hurricanes and the worst earthquake the modern world had ever seen. If Mother Nature thought a snowstorm would stop Jil Adams and her team of troopers, Mother Nature had better think again!
Orchestrating this huge holiday party had proved easier than even Jil - the eternal optimist - anticipated. Partially because of all the other celebratory events she'd directed in recent months, this project seemed easy - almost 'too easy'. Her blonde pony tail bobbed up and down as she paced back and forth on the plush carpet in the Canterbury Hotel's main executive conference room. The elfs had finally recovered from their holiday exuberances that had taken place over the weekend. And, as a special 'token of appreciation', Jil had arranged for all of her female team members to be personally 'gratified' by the elfs before they left on their respective road trips. What the hell.....the elves seemed to be the perfect height for such a 'stand-up delight' and it resulted in what you might call a mutually enjoyable titilation of tongue-lashing and thrashing. "My God!" one of the ladies was overheard sharing in the hotel's restroom, "some of those elves' tongues are longer than THEY are tall! I stood up through the whole thing, but when it was over, my legs were all wobbly and I had to sit down just to compose myself! Joy to the World! I can pick my favorite Christmas hymn - but when it comes to picking my favorite 'holiday HIM', I'll take one of those little elves any day! Just let me wrap my long, lanky legs around their prickly little ears and we'll play 'Oh, Come All Ye Faithful' anytime!
On a more noble note, Jil was busy making calls to ensure that many of those soldiers who had just come home would be at the various 'celebration stations' around the nation on Christmas Day. Except for one soldier who sadly reported that he'd just gotten home in the nick of time - his mother was dying of cancer and probably wouldn't live to see Christmas Day - every single soldier Jil talked to agreed to show up for the festivities. Al Gore called to let Jil know that delegations from China, Russia, India, and about two dozen other countries would attend on Christmas Day at different locations around the country. To Jil's stunned surprise, Gore even informed her about environmental groups coming from Iraq, Iran, and Syria!
As is often the case, the snowstorms were not nearly as powerful as had been predicted; even in the case of Mother Nature, 'power' is all-too-often more an impotent blowhard than it is a virile hard blow. Jil had made the same comparison with the many drunks she'd served over the years, and recognized that - even in the macho world of politics - 'power' is sometimes way over blown. O.U.T.R.A.G.E. and its 'Rebellion of '08' had revolutionized the concept of power, money and influence being the epitome of all things great. The first generation of Americans to live in the 21st century had been brought up on three pitiful maxims: "He who dies with the most toys - wins"; "All for One...ME!"; and "Lookin' out for #1".
Thanks to the O.U.T.R.A.G.E. revolution, this Christmas would truly be all about giving and not about 'getting'. America would give back to its homecoming soldiers. Government would be given back to the people.