Bobby Boyles was fuming: he was overwhelmed with work trying to get the Baker pig farm ready for tomorrow's festivities, and Lovey had cracked her collarbone (this was the second time; she'd also cracked in in June, 2007) and he needed to take care of her. Bobby Cowles was fuming: his farm crew needed to be tending to the prize pigs, not preparing for another damn party. Mike Osborn was fuming: he thought he and "Hot Donna" were going to get away for the weekend, but now those plans were changed because of Phil Baker's hog roast. Boo and Jo Warren were fuming: just because everybody else was. Janie Baker was fuming: she had all this work to do and Phil was no where to be found. "If he's out on the edge of the ranch burning down another barn with two of Christine's hussies," Janie mused, "he's........" Her thoughts were interrupted when a cavalcade of lime-green O.U.T.R.A.G.E. vehicles pulled up infront of the main house, where the Bakers lived. "Janie!" yelled Jil, "We've come to help get ready for tomorrow's party!" From three buses and two motorhomes poured a hoard of helpers!
Behind Jil's sunshiney smile came Lynn, Connie, Chris, Michelle, Kathy, Sally, Suzan, Clem, Linda, Larry, Ryan, and a whole bunch of 'newcomers': Bruce, Shorty, Hooter, L.Z., and about twenty other 'regulars' from Jilli's Pub had driven all night all the way from Indiana, just to get to Iowa and help. Bob Ryan clambered out of the second bus holding an ice cold beer in one hand while trying to steady himself with the other. Cher was right behind him, halfway holding him up. Then Ron Oetting stumbled from the bus hanging on to a pitcher of peapickers as if they were his only lifeline. The two motorhomes were filled with about eight other 'newcomers' who had drunkenly agreed to accompany the convoy to Iowa without any real reason other than they'd been in the bar at the time everyone was boarding. Janie immediately began to delegate: some of them were assigned "telephone duty", calling to invite people to the party who hadn't yet responded to their e-mail invitations. Others were 'traffic coordinators' who designated pick-up points where invited guests could meet O.U.T.R.A.G.E. buses or planes enroute to Iowa. Still others were assigned to help with the decorations, food preparation, set-up, or countless other duties necessary to ensure the success of this blow-out. "We can't wait to get this party started," Jil exclaimed with her usual bubbly confidence. "We brought the buses and motorhomes instead of the planes 'cause it was easier to load up all the supplies we needed! By the way, where's Phil?" That one five-word question started Janie fuming. There seemed to be so much fuming going on in the middle of Iowa that it could result in a whole new setback for the global warming issue. Nonetheless, everyone pitched in and went to work. By Friday evening, everything was running smoothly and most of the work was done. Phil suddenly reappeared without explanation or apology, and opened the bar and hour earlier than its normal 9:00 p.m.
O.U.T.R.A.G.E. planes would begin arriving in Des Moines as early as 6:00 a.m. Saturday; drivers would use O.U.T.R.A.G.E. cars to pick people up at the airport and deliver them to the Double B pig farm. Colin Powell, Barack Obama, and John McCain, who had just left the compound with the Chinese delegations, would be shuttled back to Story City late Saturday afternoon.
In spite of all the fuming from disgruntled Double B staffers, everything was ready. Tomorrow would be a celebration of the 'new' United States of America and its new political leadership. As always, O.U.T.R.A.G.E. television crews were there to broadcast the entire event to the nation, allowing every voter and taxpayer to see and hear everything their newly-elected leaders had to say. "This is going to be the best of the best," Jil noted. "Of all the celebrations we've planned over these past few months, I think this one will be the most significant! America needs to celebrate....we've got lots to overcome. The loss of many of our most prominent citizens; the loss of millions of earthquake and hurricane victims; the rebuidling and restoration of our cities and communities; the election of a whole new body of leadership. I'd like to propose a toast; 'here's to the great American spirit, and to all of those who have brought this great nation back from the brink of extinction!'" Everyone lifted their glasses; most stood up and saluted the large American flag draped behind the bar. Tomorrow would be a great day!
Behind Jil's sunshiney smile came Lynn, Connie, Chris, Michelle, Kathy, Sally, Suzan, Clem, Linda, Larry, Ryan, and a whole bunch of 'newcomers': Bruce, Shorty, Hooter, L.Z., and about twenty other 'regulars' from Jilli's Pub had driven all night all the way from Indiana, just to get to Iowa and help. Bob Ryan clambered out of the second bus holding an ice cold beer in one hand while trying to steady himself with the other. Cher was right behind him, halfway holding him up. Then Ron Oetting stumbled from the bus hanging on to a pitcher of peapickers as if they were his only lifeline. The two motorhomes were filled with about eight other 'newcomers' who had drunkenly agreed to accompany the convoy to Iowa without any real reason other than they'd been in the bar at the time everyone was boarding. Janie immediately began to delegate: some of them were assigned "telephone duty", calling to invite people to the party who hadn't yet responded to their e-mail invitations. Others were 'traffic coordinators' who designated pick-up points where invited guests could meet O.U.T.R.A.G.E. buses or planes enroute to Iowa. Still others were assigned to help with the decorations, food preparation, set-up, or countless other duties necessary to ensure the success of this blow-out. "We can't wait to get this party started," Jil exclaimed with her usual bubbly confidence. "We brought the buses and motorhomes instead of the planes 'cause it was easier to load up all the supplies we needed! By the way, where's Phil?" That one five-word question started Janie fuming. There seemed to be so much fuming going on in the middle of Iowa that it could result in a whole new setback for the global warming issue. Nonetheless, everyone pitched in and went to work. By Friday evening, everything was running smoothly and most of the work was done. Phil suddenly reappeared without explanation or apology, and opened the bar and hour earlier than its normal 9:00 p.m.
O.U.T.R.A.G.E. planes would begin arriving in Des Moines as early as 6:00 a.m. Saturday; drivers would use O.U.T.R.A.G.E. cars to pick people up at the airport and deliver them to the Double B pig farm. Colin Powell, Barack Obama, and John McCain, who had just left the compound with the Chinese delegations, would be shuttled back to Story City late Saturday afternoon.
In spite of all the fuming from disgruntled Double B staffers, everything was ready. Tomorrow would be a celebration of the 'new' United States of America and its new political leadership. As always, O.U.T.R.A.G.E. television crews were there to broadcast the entire event to the nation, allowing every voter and taxpayer to see and hear everything their newly-elected leaders had to say. "This is going to be the best of the best," Jil noted. "Of all the celebrations we've planned over these past few months, I think this one will be the most significant! America needs to celebrate....we've got lots to overcome. The loss of many of our most prominent citizens; the loss of millions of earthquake and hurricane victims; the rebuidling and restoration of our cities and communities; the election of a whole new body of leadership. I'd like to propose a toast; 'here's to the great American spirit, and to all of those who have brought this great nation back from the brink of extinction!'" Everyone lifted their glasses; most stood up and saluted the large American flag draped behind the bar. Tomorrow would be a great day!
posted by Bushwacker! at 6:29 AM
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