Despite their obvious feelings of joie de vivre, Bobby and Lovey found life on the pig farm a little overpowering. Mike and Donna sometimes felt their management positions were at times drubbish; even Phil and Janie Baker tired of wearing overhauls instead of tuxedos and evening gowns from time to time. "You've got to say one thing for a pig farm," Phil used to philosophize, "it sure as hell brings you down to earth!" That all changed when John and Christine brought their three dozen hookers to the "Double B". It was like some kind of parade right out of "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band"....a kind of fantasmical journey led by three stretch limos and seven boxy white vans from Two Men & A Truck. As Donna and Mike directed the convoy to a row of small bungalows on the far east side of the farm. First used as bunk houses for the ranch hands when the original owners raised corn and kept horses, these bungalows had been vacant since the Bakers had taken over the property, as they chose to house their farm workers in a dormitory-style barracks nearer the pig sties. Taking care of swine is a full-time job requiring constant observation, feeding and grooming. These weren't just regular pigs; they were prime porkers, destined for the finest china in some of the world's most renowned restaurants.
The 'Rebellion of '08', of course, had lessened domestic demand for the 'Double B' product line, but Donna and Mike's sales marketers had simply started promoting more aggressively to the international customers, who still enjoyed a savory 3-inch thick prime pork chop while entertaining customers in Hong Kong or Monte Carlo. Dubai was also a thriving new market, where a pork dinner featuring the "other" succulent "white meat" from often could fetch three hundred dollars [US].
As Mike helped Christine's 'girls' from the limousines, his eyes bulged from his head, practically breaking right through his glasses. "God damn,, Donna," Mike exclaimed without any forethought, "I never would've believed there'd be this much prime pussy in the middle of Iowa! I gotta tell Boo!" Boo was another Hoosier import that Mike and Donna had encouraged to come along and help raise pigs into prime pork. "You'll love Iowa," Mike told him, "it's all flat land! Perfect for golfing!" Boo and his wife, Jo, had made the journey to the Bakers' pig paradise in late summer of 2008, and Boo was just getting used to the stench of pig manure wafting through his bedroom window early each morning. The top management team and their wives lived in comfortable bungalows similar to those in which John, Christine and their 'girls' were about to occupy, but they were situated on the north side of the property, downwind from the more petulant aromas that filled the farm hands' dorms. As much as O.U.T.R.A.G.E. emphasized "equality", there was a bit of a divide among "Double B" management and the 'common' farm workers. Part of this, of course, was due to the pure geography of the property. The existing housing was already in place when the Bakers bought it, and there had been no time, money or real need to make any changes in accommodations.
Boo eagerly helped the 'girls' unload their personal affects and move them into the bungalows. They divided the room mates up into 'smoking' and non-smoking' units. Each girl had her own separate bedroom, but a 'common' parlor, kitchen, and 'great room' was to be shared by all occupants and their 'guests'.
"Lookit that 'un thar," Boo said in his usual Kentuckian drawl. "I'll bet if you ever got them panties off her, you'd find out she ain't no real blonde!" As the buxom young lady approached him, Boo - in his own skittish way - became the perfect gentleman, tipping his hat and offering a courteous, "Hello thar, ma'am. Can I help you with your undies - er', 'scuse me, I mean your luggage?" Mike stood motionless, his raspy voice trying to find its way through sudden speechlessness. Boo, as always, was a bit skittish and bewildered. "Take those big boxes to the 'grudge, Mike...we'll help these lovely ladies unpack their valuables a little later." Beds, of course, were the first things unloaded from the trucks and assembled. After all, John and Christine wanted the girls back to work as quickly as possible - and there was a whole hoard of horny farm hands ready to sample this bevy of beauties. As soon as their morning shifts were finished, virtually every farm hand was there - without even being asked - ready to help Mike, Boo, Phil and John unload furniture, move the girls into their new residences, repaint and touch-up where necessary, assemble beds, stock cupboards, and hang clothes. "Whew!" said Boo, "will ya' look at some of these fancy dresses and stuff? Whaddya s'pose this here's fer, Mike? I 'magin' it's a lamp cord, but I don't see no lamp that needs no cord." Mike picked up the flimsy pile of next-to-nothing and slapped Boo on the side of the head. "You moron," he scolded, "that's her thong!!" Always a bit skittish, Boo slapped back, twitched a bit, did a little dance as if he were chasing away a bevy of bees, and walked away in a huff.
Yet another Hoosier transplant, Bobby Cowles, saw the whole incident, and came over to see if everything was okay. "Yeah," Mike assured him, "everything's fine. Boo just gets his panties bunched up a little too tight at times." Cowles, who had been recruited by Donna and Mike to serve as the resident supervisor of the bunkhouse, supervised the farm hands that lived in the barracks next to the pig pens. In a nearly-inaudible whisper, he asked discreetly, "Hey, Mike...about tonight. Now are all my guys gonna get to participate in this party? And will they be expected to take showers?" Mike looked at Cowles with his usual mix of surprise and disdain. "Well, God damn, Bob, don't you think it'd be a good idea? I just moved these broads into their new quarters. Their beds have satin sheets and their closets are full of flimsey, filmy negligees. I think it would be the gentlemenly thing to do...at least go IN there clean! Why in the hell would those classy gals wanna' put up with putzes that smell like pigshit? YEAH, Bob...clean your guys up, okay? That's why we installed showers in their dorms!" Cowles glared at Osborne, and walked off, muttering, "God, it sounds like YOU'RE the one whose panties are all bunched up!" The sudden appearance of Christine's hoard of hookers
By nightfall on Tuesday, December 30, things were pretty much in place and the girls were ready to get down to business. As an introductory special, Christine send flyers around to all the "Double B" employees offering an unprecendented "two for one special - tonight only". While Phil and Janie, Bobby and Lovie, Mike and Donna, and Boo and Jo retired to the bar for an evening of relaxed conversation and recuperation from a hard day's work, Christine's 'grand opening' on the "Double B" grounds proved to be a titillating success. As each farm hand left, Christine handed him another flyer announcing that tomorrow night - New Year's Eve - would be a special celebration. "Tomorrow night, everything's on the house!" she exclaimed as she drew back on her cigarette and blew smoke in the faces of all these young, sufficiently-sucked and freshly-fucked farm boys.